all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
