I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
