my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
