Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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