Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
