I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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