I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
