Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
