At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
