Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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