You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
