Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
