Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
