So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
