i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
