I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
