Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
