how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
