Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
