Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
