so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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