oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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