Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize