dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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