he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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