You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
