My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
