We're facebook friends in real life
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
