moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
