Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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