You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
