They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
