white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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