last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
