I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
