i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
