she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
