JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
