just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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