I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
