Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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