i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
