I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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