i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
