Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
