I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
