I feel like abortions should bother me more
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
