She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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