I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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