i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
