So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
