pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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