it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
